Vicious Cycle

I need to tell myself that there's nothing else that's worth caring about besides my research and classes anymore. I want to shoot and roam outside but as soon as I step out, the call to my work is so strong that I return to my work. Anything I do besides my work and I feel an intense pain in my conscience that I'm doing the wrong thing, that if I don't return to work, then I will fail in what I set out to do and will be replaced by someone more efficient. Yet when I try to focus on my work, my body and heart keep nagging at me with that need to train. It is a vicious cycle and I can't even leave my research without feeling that overwhelming urgency that can only be relieved by returning to work without doing anything else. Food is like ashes to me and people have become odious pests. I look like a blimp with extremities. I don't know if even the Ranger is strong enough to break from this.

I'm going to see if I can at least attempt to get some work done, even if the Python code no longer makes sense and my proposals are little more than characters on a screen.