Need More Time

I think I might've just barely worked off enough calories (darn that half-a-pinky-sized piece of chocolate I had this afternoon!) to earn that bit of spinach salad for dinner. I'm tired of engulfing my bike seat and barely fitting into some of these desks and being winded after running up and down stairs 7-8 times. It's almost impossible to really eat without doing an energy balance calculation and making sure that my energy inputs and outputs are where they're supposed to be (ie, output > input).

I keep reminding myself that I'm here for my education and to further the field of ecophysiological modelling and nothing else. I shouldn't even be caring about anything else besides my work even if it costs me my health and sanity. But here I am, worried about something as piddly as my physical and mental health, which shouldn't really matter at all if those sacrifices will make me into a really solid researcher. Besides trying to understand evapotranspiration and carbon fluxes at different scales and then taking different modelling approaches, there shouldn't be anything else in my life. Alas there is though. I still have an overpowering urge to roam about, maintain enough physical strength to do field work, and be as good of a bow-hunter (even if it's just dots and foam animals) as possible. For me, now that I've been surrounded by a bunch of social primates who don't understand the concept of the "natural loner" who wants to be as competetive as possible, archery and going out into the wilderness are the only two things that will let me even remotely let me refresh myself if I have to take a break... I need to learn how to go without taking any breaks at all so I can be more efficient. Unfortunately, most human bodies and minds are also hard-wired to need breaks and I'm in the inferior category of people who do need breaks :(

My weapons are my most reliable companions and the people I feel most comfortable around are fellow archers, even if my colleagues are first-rate academically. Don't get me wrong, I'm generally happy here at UF, just that I'm not fond of being around of hyper-social people (the kind who don't understand why someone would happily sequester themselves with academics or archery practice on a Friday/Saturday night) for extended periods of time and I can't stand extended periods of enforced inactivity. Time for me to go back to work, possibly with a couple of shots here and there. I still haven't earned that salad yet but I also need to do some data processing and readings before I can do much of anything else.