Ends Justify the Means?

Perhaps it is time for the Ranger in me to die so I can concentrate on my work fully. After all, the only thing of possible worth from me is my research, nothing else. Nobody will really care if I'm in decent health or if I can consistently shoot a 540/560 in a full field round with 40-50 X's, only that I publish in relevant journals and advance my field. All the Ranger does is distract me.

I love my weapons and I trust the bow far more than I would 99% of humans... but right now it feels as if I have to choose between my dear weapons and my research with the pressure I've been under. It's to the point where every time I even draw my bow or even just stand up to stretch, an image of one (or more) of my professors will appear and tell me to go back to work even if I did work for several hours in a row with only a few toilet breaks and a few cups of tea. Food is worse than ashes to me now and I'm forcing myself to at least eat enough to avoid health problems, even if there's no pleasure in anything besides research and classes anymore. I'm even avoiding most of my friends knowing that they'd take me away from my work, which is the only thing that is of worth anymore. I came here for an education, not for anything else, and even if I give up everything else, I intend to be the best researcher I can be... even if I were to sacrifice the only activities I've allowed myself -- archery and exercise -- and even if it would drastically shorten my life expectancy. There's just nothing really left as far as meaning in life anymore except for developing novel approaches to modelling ecosystem fluxes to better understand the processes that drive and control them. I just can't bring myself to do anything else anymore without that horrible feeling of guilt of being a lazy bum. Not even in sleep I can get any rest -- I wake up at least 3-4x a night thinking about my projects (or get woken up by the person sitting next to me in seminar), no dreams of the hunt in the wild, only Python code, remote sensing images, and eddy flux tower data.