Wednesday, June 21, 2006

Some Unspoken Rules...

1) If you're really waiting for a call, it will come under one of the following conditions: your phone loses reception, you desperately need to use the bathroom, someone else is bugging you, or you have to go into class or take an exam.

2) If you're waiting to talk to someone about something important, they will always show up right when you have to go to class, take an exam, use the bathroom, or are about to pass out from hunger. If the person is allergic or offended by a particular food, s/he will come right when you're eating exactly what they can't be around.

3) The expensive carbon arrow with a fancy light-up nock, 5" shield-cut barred fletching, and glue-in points will be destroyed by being Robin-Hooded by a home-made cheap arrow that's on its last legs.

4) Most hits on a 3-D target will either be hit by another arrow (see #3) or fall off when someone else hits the target. Misses will either land in the brush or in the one patch of poison oak.

5) The more antisocial you need to be, the more people like to crowd around you and harass you.

6) If there's a textbook you desperately need, it will cost about three times as much as normal. If you don't need a textbook, prices will drop to about one third of the normal price.

7) The more disgusting a bird's diet is, the more likely you have to park under its nest.

8) The rock you sit on while hiking on a trail is most likely a "p-mail" spot for dogs.

9) The taller the building and the slower the elevator, the more likely it is that you'll be trapped in the elevator with the flatulent person who ate bean burritos and sulfur-rich foods for breakfast/lunch/dinner... or the person who's wearing perfume/cologne that could kill anything with a sense of smell.

10) The probability of encountering bratty, screaming, outright disgusting children with retarded parents increases exponentially when carrying a strung bow.

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